boyeeto

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
ariabauer
beekeepermarycatherine

I realized why the idea of constellations has always swayed me. constellations are so very human.

our wonder of the stars is bone-sunk; we’ve been thinking and dreaming and watching and watching and watching since the beginning of time, and we looked for so long that we started making connections. 

we played a celestial game of connect-the-dots; trying to find order in something so vast and trying to show that the stars are in everything and everything is in the stars.

we plucked pictures out of the infinite; there’s a dog, there’s a bear, there’s a lion, see? look, right there; the stars hold and mirror back everything. 

but then it went a step further. instead of everyday things, we stopped picking out the cups and the bears, and instead we saw stories. 

look, there’s Andromeda, chained to a rock and waiting to be devoured by Cetus. there’s Orion, and Hercules, and do you see Orpheus’ lyre? Zeus sent an eagle to retrieve it after Orpheus’ death and he placed it in the sky. 

we did the most human thing imaginable: we wrote our stories into the stars. we filled the night sky; previously so vast, so unknowable; with our history. we forged connections to the stars and made it so our children will always know where they come from. 

writing-prompt-s
writing-prompt-s

You’re a mystic who runs a shop full of mysterious artifacts and potions and you’re sick of uninformed middle-aged suburban moms asking for energy crystals and herbal weight-loss mixtures while throwing around made-up terms.

feynites

When a middle-aged woman rolled into my shop and told me she was looking for ichor, I didn’t think much of it at first.

You get all kinds in a shop like mine, and doubly so when you put up the right signs on your door. The signs that let certain kinds of people know they’re welcome, not just the collectors or the curious or the new age mystics, looking for this root or that crystal or wanting to gawk at a jar of old bones, but the less innocuous individuals as well.  The kind who mean business when they come looking for their… less run-of-the-mill specialities.

Keep reading

stringthe0ri

YEAH SO I CRIED.

stillwithhernothim
stillwithhernothim

THIS SHOULD ENRAGE ALL OF US!

The Trump administration is considering a new “religious freedom” rule that would allow healthcare workers to refuse to treat LGBT patients.“
Please… read that again.

WOULD. ALLOW. HEALTHCARE. WORKERS. TO. REFUSE. LGBT. PEOPLE.

#RESIST

that motherfucking piece of shit lgbt rights gay equality
queerukuleleplayer
teashoesandhair

A sitcom about the modern Greek gods where everyone is wildly miscast

Zeus is played by Michael Cera

dasfeministmermaid

😂😂😂😂 Hephaestus is Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

teashoesandhair

@seerofbirds has cast Danny DeVito as Aphrodite and @qrowxiii has cast Eddie Murphy as Ares, so this is shaping up to be a pretty great TV pitch and if anyone from Hollywood is reading this, could you also consider casting Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson as Hermes and Christopher Walken as Apollo, thanks.

teashoesandhair

Hera is Oscar Isaac because are you really going to cheat on Oscar Isaac, Michael Cera? Really? You’d do that? You’d look at that man’s face and chase tail somewhere else, Michael Cera, you sack of shit?

angelicfangirl

I’m dying this is fantastic I NEED THE WHOLE CAST

teashoesandhair

Hades is Whoopi Goldberg and Persephone is Jeff Goldblum and Demeter is Julie Andrews. Their interplay makes up 70% of the film and is all improvised.

Athena is played by Amy Schumer (thanks anon!) and she defeats her enemies by being incredibly loud and annoying and plagiarising all their tactics and eventually they just give up in irritation. She only has 3 minutes of screen time and no dialogue. Thank fuck.

Heracles is played by Jesse Eisenberg because Michael Cera got to be Zeus. Sometimes they swap roles. No-one notices.

Poseidon is played by Daniel Craig but his only scene is when he reenacts the famous Bond scene with speedos.

teashoesandhair

Artemis is played by Robert Pattinson and all his lines are just slightly amended from Twilight. Dionysus is played by Helen Mirren. It is perhaps the only apt casting in the film.

teashoesandhair

To clarify, Hestia is absolutely played by Charles Dance, whose costume includes an apron which gets progressively dirtier throughout the series.

In the sitcom, which precedes the feature film and which focuses on certain myths every episode, Narcissus is played by John Goodman. Echo is played by Billy Crystal. 

Other episodes include the story of Eros and Psyche, played respectively by Jane Fonda and Shirley MacLaine, the story of Daedalus and Icarus, played respectively by Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern, and the story of Zeus overthrowing Cronus, in which Michael Cera as Zeus must defeat Cronus, as played by John Cena, in a battle of wits and muscle. Astonishingly, he wins.

i-can-do-tricks

this is all very good gud

but who is perseus and medusa? jason , Midas, circe, media, please I NEED TO KNOW

teashoesandhair

These are very important questions and I will answer them immediately.

Perseus and Medusa are played by Andy Samberg and Glenn Howerton. All their scenes together are just them one upping each other with improvised insults.

Jason and Medea are played by John Boyega and Meryl Streep, and all their scenes are so beautifully acted that they both get nominated for Oscars, despite the fact that one of Jason’s lines is “are you trying to fleece me out of the golden fleece?”, to which Medea replies “me, fleece you? Oh no, me dear.”

Midas is played by Steve Buscemi, obviously. For no discernible reason, everything he touches does not turn to gold, but copper alloy. This is possibly due to budget cuts. Due to their on screen chemistry, he bizarrely has several buddy cop style scenes with Jeff Goldblum’s Persephone.

Circe does not appear. If she did, she would be played by Audrey Hepburn, using that creepy CGI from the Galaxy adverts, but her estate refuse to give their permission.

teashoesandhair

Important updates:

image

(Anonymous suggests: Kelsey Asbille Chow playing Achilles, Michelle Obama is Thetis, Danny Trejo as Helen, Terry Crewes as Paris, and Adrien Brody as Hector. olvmpos says: Ganymede is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and regularly benchpresses Michael Cera.)

alianoram

image

Hey @teashoesandhair I’m not saying that I felt inspired and sketched Whoopi Goldberg and Jeff Goldblum as Hades and Persephone but that’s exactly what I’m saying

teashoesandhair

OH GOD THIS IS PERFECTION. THANK YOU. JUST THANK YOU. PHENOMENAL.

alianoram

image

YOU’RE WELCOME BUT ALSO PLEASE HELP COS I CAN’T STOP

teashoesandhair

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE POSTER FOR THE SERIES, YOU HEAR ME

teashoesandhair

I’m mad that people are just reblogging the first post here because YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON THE MOST INCREDIBLE ARTWORK YOU’LL EVER SEE

agentmarymargaretskitz

I’M HOWLING WE NEED THIS

sylvanheather

This is a riot! 🤣 LOVE the artwork!! ❤❤

random-stuff-thrown-into-a-pot

BUT WHERE DOES WOODY HARRELSON FIT INTO THIS


also that art is as close to perfection as you get, but don’t tell Aphrodite, she’d be jealous

teashoesandhair

WOODY HARRELSON IS IO AND I WON’T HEAR A WORD SAID AGAINST IT

queerukuleleplayer
canikon-bokeh

Exactly. 

sonic-hip-attack

Imagine a wall full of circular holes, that circles can keep walking in and out of with no difficulty.

Now imagine that the triangles manage to get the resources together, after years of not being able to fit through the circle’s holes, to drill a single triangle space into the wall.

Now imagine that the circle — who previously supported the triangle’s efforts because they are well-rounded (har) and value equality —  comes along and sees the construction project. But instead of being happy, they get angry.

“Well, I won’t be able to fit through your hole!!!!” the circle cries.

“I helped you get the drill!!!!” the circle shrieks.

“Make it fit me too!!!!” the circle demands.

The triangles, barely holding it together enough to get a triangle hole together, stare at the circle in confusion. 

“You have all the holes you need,” the triangles explain. “This is for us. You don’t need to fit through our hole, too.”

“YOU’RE BEING UNEQUAL AND HURTING MY FEELINGS!” the circle wails. “I DON’T SUPPORT YOUR HOLE IF IT DOESN’T FIT ME TOO. GIVE ME MY DRILL BACK.” 

“It’s not your drill, it’s our drill. You helped us get it, because you said you cared.”

“I ONLY CARED WHEN I THOUGHT YOU’D MAKE A HOLE EVERYONE COULD FIT THROUGH. YOU’RE PERPETUATING INEQUALITY!!!”

“Why is it up to us, the small group that has never been able to fit through the wall at all, to make a hole everyone can use? Why isn’t it up to you, the people who have been able to cross back and forth at will for years? We just want to see the other side; why are you yelling at us?”

“I DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN A CIRCLE, OMG. I’VE HAD TO WORK HARD ALL MY LIFE TOO. YOU’RE JUST BEING BIGOTED AGAINST ME BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I CAN’T CONTROL, JUST LIKE EVERYONE IS AGAINST YOU.”

“You are interfering with our project and asking us to comfort you while we’re trying to make progress. Please leave.”

“I’m going to tell everyone about this,” the circle warns. “Nobody will support you now.”

“Apparently nobody ever did,” the triangles sigh, getting back to work.

setfabulazerstomaximumcaptain

It’s kind of sad

That we have to draw comics using colorful shapes

To explain systematic inequality to people

palestinianliberator

Reblogging again because yes good

dookiediamonds

Systematic Inequality : 101

fuerzabella

After heterosexual pride day trending this would be a good way of presenting it to people who don’t get it